Can you suggest help for my Aspergers Syndrome?

Hello Mark,

Thanks for your answer on my Social Anxiety/Become More Extroverted question from 12/12. This has really helped me become more extroverted and conquer Social Anxiety (along with those hypnosis programs).

I have applied what you have told me, but have also taken this quote from your last response to me to heart: "A real born extrovert, unless they have learned aspects of introversion, may feel they cannot help but be extrovert in all and everything they do." I have found it easy to become extroverted once I try to do it all the time and have found my fears (especially of other people's opinions) are unfounded.

I'm not saying I feel like socializing all the time, but just doing it all the time helps me become more extroverted as a habit (even if it will never be natural for me). In the month since I sent that last question to you, I went to a doctor, told him of my social situation, and he diagnosed me with Aspergers. This has been a HUGE weight off my back that I've been unknowningly carrying my whole life. If you know anything about Aspergers, is there any other hypnosis outside of the Social Anxiety and Extrovert ones you recommend?

This question was submitted by 'Lawrence'

Mark says...

Hi Lawrence,

Firstly, I'm so pleased you were helped by what I suggested for you before.

There is such a thing, of course, as genetics and we each have a different genetic 'blueprint', but there is also a principle known as epigenetics. The emerging science of epigenetics indictates that what we do in life - our experiences and learnings -influences what genes are expressed and what genes are activated or not. So you (and I) may be a born introvert, but learning to be more extroverted and practicing social confidence can have an epigenetic effect, helping us actually become more extroverted. In this way, genes are not destiny.

Aspergers Syndrome, as you know, is also known as 'high-functioning Autism' and seems to be highly genetic; yet many of the differences of Aspergers Syndome can be modifed by how and what people with this diagnosis learn and experience. 'Context blindness' (especially in social contexts) has been one way of descibing Autism; it may feel hard to 'read' where other people are coming from. So you may find that understanding what people may be feeling, thinking, or why they do or say certain things hasn't always come naturally to you. Few people understand the motivations or perspectives of other people all the time, but with Aspergers, a lack of understanding social 'appropriateness' is more pronounced. Understanding the subtlety of situation and emotion, even tagging and understanding your own emotions, may have been a problem. Many people with Aspergers tend to take things very literally and struggle with metaphor or non-obvious jokes; this can affect relationships.

Then again, 'Aspies' may be extremely talented, more so than those without Aspergers Syndrome. The singular focus and unwavering fascination with the kinds of things that many others take little interest in can lead to great discoveries and leaps forward in collective understandings as to how the world works. It's thought that many great inventors, scientists, and artists may have been Aspies. What is seen as a 'deficit' in some ways can also be seen as a 'superpower' in other ways.

I suggest you check out the 'Walk in Others' Shoes' download and also the more generic 'Increase Emotional Intelligence' session.

All the very best for your future,

Mark