How can I stop analyzing everything so much?

Hello!

I'm 20 years old. My English is not so good, so if any mistakes are here, then please try to understand.

I always feel guilty about some things in my life and I can't come out of these. I'm getting depressed and feeling very shy for the mistakes that I have made in my past life. I think too much about what people or friends are thinking about me and whether they are thinking any bad things about me. If any friend says anything to me, even in fun, I take it very seriously and start thinking on it for a long time.

That's why I can't even concentrate on my studies and feel really bad about myself. I become too nervous suddenly and so can't concentrate on any work. I'm so doubtful in everything, so I can't think positively. I don't have any good friends yet, don't know why, but the friends I had were fake! Please help!

This question was submitted by 'Riya'

Mark says...

Hello Riya and thank you for writing in. Your English is easy to understand. : )

It sounds like you have a tendency to over-analyze and over-think. Going over and over stuff in your head can be exhausting and is also stressful. It's a great idea to begin to challenge the type of thinking that is driven by anxiety but also drives it. This is called 'all-or-nothing' or 'black-and-white' thinking and tends to be extreme, missing out all the subtle shades of grey in life. Check out this page on emotionally 'extremist' thinking.

Our 'All or Nothing Thinking' download helps overcome this type of thinking, too. Anxiety drives negative introspection, so starting to relax often and deeply will help you put things in their proper perspective and stop feeling needlessly guilty. You can also check out these downloads: 'Analysis Paralysis' and 'Dealing with Guilt'.

I think you have a powerful mind and you can begin to use it to help yourself and others and stop being used by it. You can have a great life.

All my best,

Mark