I want to be more extrovert.
Hello Mark Apologize for this long Email in advance. My question is at the end. I have received many of your mass Emails about Social Anxiety. I am aware of your Hypnosis & there is some improvement from all these Hypnosis from you or Roger However......I still lack motivation to Socialize when I know in my head I should be. Im a lot better with socializing with things I NEED to do, like with work or meeting to study for a class. BUT I still struggle mightily with the random socializing I dont need to do (like people talking to you when you are exercising at a Health club) And Im still nowhere close to where I need to be in terms of thinking I will do that socializing and ACTUALLY acting on that desire. For example, today I debated in my head whether I should call someone on the phone or text someone---something an Extrovert does automatically without debate (like their Heart beating). Then I ended up not texting or calling that person at all. Know shouldnt be too hard on myself when Im beating myself up in bed for not opening my mouth to a person when I wanted to and maybe these things will take more time for me than other people BUT my ultimate goal is to become as Extroverted as the natural Extrovert (even if im never Natural) Extroverts get the adrenaline going and are most happy when they are socializing. How do I become like that? What techniques outside of Hypnosis do you recommend that work well in becoming an Extrovert? Lawrence C.
This question was submitted by 'lrcrawford23'
Mark says...
Hello Lawrence,
It sounds as though you have made some headway but please remember one very important point. We human beings are a diverse bunch. This means we are all different and fall into different types. I myself am basically an ontrovert who has learned to be able to focus outward and socialize with anyone at anytime, if I choose. A real born extrovert, unless they have learned aspects of introversion may feel they cannot help but be extrovert in all and everything they do. You only need to 'be extrovert' when you really need to be. What I mean by that is that essentially you might always remain prone to wanting privacy, having time alone to think and reflect and not always wanting to put it out there and...that's fine. Be proud of who you are in the sense of who you were born as but enjoy reaching out and focussing out when you chose to. Extroverts, real extroverts don't chose to. They can't help it.
At the same time I urge you to get in the habit of never using fear as the only reason not to do something (that is in reality non-threatening). You mentioned struggling to call someone back. If fear stops you calling them back then the fear has won. To beat this, take time to close your eyes, relax and imagine calling them back whilst feeling calm and in flow. You could do this in as little as 30 seconds before getting back to them. Pretty soon you'll find it will feel natural to do these things without fear. You can command and conquor fears but still retain the postives of being innately introverted.
All best wishes,
Mark
Published by Mark Tyrrell -
December 16th, 2012 
