How can I stop lying?

Hey Mark,

This may seem weird, but I'm actually 12 and can't stop lying. I really want to stop, but it seems I can't. It's gotten so bad that my parents practically won't let me anywhere. I'm not able to hang out with my friends, stay home, or anything.

I've read your tips, but my parents just can't believe anything I say, even if it's the truth. Every time I want to tell the truth, it comes out a lie and I regret it. My dad said because I lie, I can be a disappointment.

Please help me stop. I would be soooooo grateful.

This question was submitted by 'Morgan'

Mark says...

Hello Morgan and thank you for your question.

I'm glad you read my article on how to stop compulsive lying. You didn't say whether you had tried to put the tips into practice. So many people read articles without even trying to follow the advice, then ask for more advice! : )

What you describe is like the classic story of the boy who cried wolf. If we lie a lot, eventually people don't believe us when we do tell the truth. The truth of the story of the boy who cried wolf is something you are experiencing with your parents right now.

People need time and proof that you can be honest. It might not be one month, it might not be two, but eventually, if you are consistent with the truth, you will become viewed as someone ‘who used to tell lies’ but doesn't anymore. People will come to see you as honest and reliable. In the meantime, you will just have to be honest without expecting any reward or even belief from those around you.

Take a look at the article again and follow the tips in it. Tell the truth not for the sake of your parents or anyone else, but just for the sake of yourself and the truth. When you tell the truth, people can like it or not like it, but at least it will be the truth. Re-read the article, ask yourself why you were lying, and follow the ideas so that you can get out with it. Because even the boy who cried wolf grew up to be, perhaps, an honest adult.

All best wishes,

Mark