How can I deal with my control freak landlord?

Mark,

I just moved into a home where the landlord is a control freak.

First of all, I am ill, just getting over eight months of chemo, so a lot of places do not want to rent to me. Second, I am going to be having surgery on my neck to avoid paralysis due to a car accident I was in.

This person that is renting me the room does not let you finish a sentence. Every day, he tells me what I am doing wrong. He thinks he told me that cleaning his home was part of the deal and it wasn't. He also says that I am not listening or paying attention to what he expects of people that live there. I have been instructed on how to open and close doors properly.

I am actually moving into a more expensive efficiency apartment he is renting and will have a lot less contact with him. But he will still be here and I don't know that to be true. I need to know how to deal with this individual because I have to stay here until at least a month or two after my surgery.

I am scared and I cannot move because I do not have the family support I would love to have. Thank you for any help you can give me.

This question was submitted by 'Evelyn'

Mark says...

Hi Evelyn, I really feel for you.

You've had so much to deal with already without this over-controlling person micromanaging every aspect of your tenancy. The one good thing is that now you will have less contact with him generally.

I suggest that you suggest to him that if he wants to talk to you, he needs to do so on your terms. Some people, especially those veering toward the control freak end of things, like rules to the extent that they are tyrannized by them themselves and they use them to tyrannize others.

Write down all the rules you would like to have for him:

When you will and won't have contact with him.
What you will and won't be instructed upon.
How long you are willing to see him each time.

Write up as many rules as you can from your point of view for him. Even if you don't communicate these rules to him directly, the fact you have written them down will be something that is in the back of your mind. But you can communicate some of them to him. Let him know that you are only willing to have communication at certain times and take back some control.

A landlord may think of themselves as a lord, but, in reality, they are also there to serve you. And you can have that service more on your terms.

You could also use the 'The Control Freak' session. And I'd like to draw your attention to the cancer help downloads, which may or may not be applicable to you now, but all the proceeds go to our designated cancer charity. Or if you contact us you can have any of those downloads for free.

All my best,

Mark