"Hi, what's your name?"

You've probably felt anxious in social situations for your whole life.

And you probably thought it would never change.

You may have resigned yourself to all the worry and fear you feel before a social event, and perhaps developed ways to cope with that.

But what if it didn't have to be that way?

What if you could train yourself to relax at social occasions. And in the lead-up to them too?

What if socializing could become something you actively seek out, so that growing your social circle becomes something you look forward to?

It isn't just shyness

People who have been socially anxious at any time know that social anxiety actually hurts.

Anxiety knots your stomach, stress makes your head ache and the constant jolts of adrenaline and fear sap your energy.

But the consequences of social anxiety hurt too.

You know how isolating it is.

You know how hard it is to really get to know people, to form the friendships you'd like to, when social situations feel like torture.

There's a reason it's called 'painfully' shy.

Scans of the brain have shown loneliness activates the same centres that pain does.

Just because you suffer from social anxiety doesn't mean you don't need human contact.

Laughter, intimacy and friendship are like food and water. You wilt without it.

Why a dinner invitation was all Susan could think about

Susan was dreading the weekend. Her stomach tightened every time she thought about it.

Her kind neighbours had invited her over for a dinner party on Saturday night, and they had hinted there would be nice single men there.

She should be looking forward to it, she knew that. How many times had she felt lonely on the weekends when her sister or her best friend had been busy?

They were really the only two people she could properly relax around. And when only two people make up your social circle, then the loneliness sets in. Evenings go on forever. Weekends feel like months.

But all the times her mother told her off for being 'weird' has given her a choking fear of people thinking she's odd and desperately not wanting to offend or bother anyone.

Sometimes Susan thinks if she were sick she couldn't call 911 for help. She'd be too shy.

But right now, being really ill sounds (almost) better than the dinner party looming ahead.

All those people. All those faces.

What if she people think she's a loser for being there by herself? What if someone struck up a conversation with her? What if she dropped something and everyone stared at her?

Whenever she 'talks' to strangers, her insides feel like they're shrivelling up. She sweats and her face flushes and her hands shake uncontrollably. Susan is so afraid of humiliating herself, it's hard to speak. It's like the anxiety is physically strangling her - words can't come out. And when they do they're so soft and so strange people look at her like she's nuts.

In glorious technicolour her memory vividly shows her all the times people have laughed at her and teased her. All the times she's got strange looks.

She can just see herself making a fool of herself in front of everyone at the dinner party.

It makes her stomach hurt just thinking about it.

She could pretend to be out…

She could say she had a headache…

No! Susan spent most of her 20s hiding from party invites and shirking social situations. It became a default reaction.

That's part of the reason why she's in this state of only having a few friends, and feeling painfully lonely. That's why she's been single for so long. That's why she worries about being a crazy old lady who dies alone.

Susan hates always feeling like she's missing out. She feels ashamed she's 33 and can't go to a neighbour's house without feeling this way.

But just as Susan talks herself into going to the dinner party, her thoughts begin to whirl and it gets harder to breathe. She feels her hands sweat and her heart hammer as she imagines how awful it will be to make small talk and be introduced and feel all those eyes watching her…

Why having social anxiety is like being a pilot in World War II

Remember the book Catch-22? You probably had to read it in school. In the book, no sane pilot would be crazy enough to want to continue flying really dangerous missions, but could only be grounded if they were certified insane.

Social anxiety is a true Catch-22

You feel lonely, but the thought of being with other people is frightening.

You're churning with anxiety when you're out socially, but you hate always being alone.

It gets frustrating and it feels like there's no way out. But there is.

Hypnosis is a natural and fast way of changing your emotions about socializing

Hypnosis changes the way your unconscious mind reacts to situations, or imagined situations. It gently and naturally eases your fears about socializing and your anxiety over not being liked so that social confidence becomes a natural part of your personality.

In this 10-step program we use hypnosis (as well as exercises and practice) to make you feel confident and calm about socializing.

But why focus on calming the emotions behind social anxiety?

Well, it's because if you are very calm about the thought of socializing, then the battle is half won.

It's so much easier to enjoy social situations if anxiety isn't clouding everything you do.

It's so much easier to make small talk when you're actually focusing on the conversation and not imagining how badly you must be coming across.

And it's impossible to really connect with people if you're stuck inside your own head.

If you don't take care of the emotional aspect of social anxiety, then all the techniques in the world won't help (and we have some very useful techniques for you too!).

Brain scans of lonely people have shown that loneliness causes activity in the same parts of the brain that register physical pain.

 

We're talking here about calm, quiet confidence

In case you're wondering, we're not promising to turn you into some sort of socializing machine.

Being socially confident does NOT mean:

• You are the life and soul of every party
• You never, ever get nervous socially
• You want to be the centre of attention all the time.

There's such a thing as quiet confidence. There are perfectly happy people who can enjoy parties and gatherings in a calm, understated way.

This is social confidence

• You're at your friend's house and some people you don't know call by. You're not extremely nervous, and you join in the conversation, interested to find out about them.

• You're happy to answer the phone, ask for directions or say hi to the people in your neighborhood.

• You go to a wedding and don't mind that you're seated at a table with people you don't know very well. You chat to several of them and go home with a couple of numbers to follow up later.

• You decide you want to learn Italian so you go to night classes, without worrying what the others there will think of you.

• You're at a work function and enjoy chatting to your colleagues, even the ones you don't work directly with.

• You feel butterflies before going on a first date, or to a job interview, but you feel the fear and do it anyway!

   

...helps me to relax and not anticipate a negative event

"Before getting a hypnosis download I was a bit reluctant, because I wasn't sure if they would be worthwhile. There are so many things on the internet, and it can be difficult to sort through the useless to find the useful!"

"One of my downloads is for 'Overcoming Social Anxiety'. My husband's work requires us to attend many social functions, and being a shy person, I really felt I was in over my head and found these occasions very stressful. When I listen to it before an upcoming social event that has me worried, I find it helps me to relax and not to anticipate a negative experience, and to allow myself to be more spontaneous."

"I would recommend Overcoming Social Anxiety to anyone with shyness or social phobias, or really any anxiety, because it helps you to think in a different way and see things in a more relaxed light. What you are thinking can completely color your world, so if something helps you to think more positively, your experience of what goes on around you is greatly improved."

This story came from Patricia Kirwan who is a Homemaker from Castle Rock, USA *

You are not alone. We surveyed 43,819 people on one of our courses about what their biggest confidence issue is. More than a third said their biggest fears involved socialising and other people.

 

What are the 10 Steps to Overcome Social Anxiety?

1) Overcome Shyness

Learn how to calm anxious thoughts and feelings before you meet new people and when you are in their company.

2) Overcome Social Phobia

Stop being ultra self conscious by training your brain to switch off its social anxiety response.

3) Being Yourself Socially

Lose the mask and express yourself more naturally in conversation.

4) Making Eye Contact

Unconsciously know how to use the right amount of eye contact and other non verbal signals to show your interest in others.

5) Meeting People

Get back into the habit of meeting people and enjoy healthy relationships with them.

6) Conversation Starter

Start conversations successfully by building rapport and creating a positive first impression.

7) Master Small Talk

Small talk smooths the way for big talk and helps you through difficult social occasions.

8) Express Your Opinion

Leave the frustration and powerlessness of not expressing your opinion behind and start being better understood and appreciated as people listen to what you have to say.

9) Speaking in Groups

Step out of the shadows and into the conversation by making regular, valuable contributions to group discussions.

10) I'm OK, You're OK

A useful model of how people interact, to ensure you communicate on the right level.

What do I get on the course and what will I be doing?

1) 10 Steps to Overcome Social Anxiety ebook

This 134 page workbook guides you through the ten steps, talking you through why social anxiety occurs and how it can be solved. It's written and illustrated by our own Mark Tyrrell and best of all it's 100% psychobabble-free. It only contains practical, easy-to-follow advice and his unique cartoons.

2) 10 carefully crafted hypnosis downloads

Each step in the course is supported by a specific audio download to provide a deeper, unconscious level of change and create new, more helpful patterns of behavior. The deeply relaxing audio allow you to take time out for yourself and recharge your mind and body, opening yourself to a more mindful place. All you have to do is tap play on your audio player, lay back, absorb and let your unconscious do the hard work.

3) Practical exercises

The course ebook gives you the 'head' knowledge and the audios give you the 'heart' knowledge, helping you make emotional updates that change how you feel. To bring the heart and head together, we've included tried and tested exercises to tackle a different aspect of identity and self image in detail. These exercises will help you understand what shapes your view of yourself, discover how to change ingrained patterns of behaviour, and realize your true potential.

4) Progress checkers

To help you assess where you are on your journey, there is a progress checker for each of 10 steps. It couldn't be simpler - you rate yourself against some statements before you start, then rate yourself again at the end of the step, usually after about 7 days. Keeping tabs on yourself like this makes you more aware of even small improvements and helps you to stay committed. Yes, you have a long term goal of developing confidence and calmness in social situations, but permanent change is based on gradual, steady, sustainable progress and not a single massive leap. The progress checkers will keep you on track and help you stay positive about your progress.

Uncover what you're really capable of

How much better will you feel on a daily basis when you're not hiding from social situations? How many friends will you make?

What will you be able to do now that you couldn't in the past? How much more easily will you go about your day, when that constant low lying anxiety disappears?

How much happier will you be when fear and dread isn't eating you up all the time?

Social confidence is a key life skill, absolutely necessary for you to feel truly happy. Which is why a solid solution that tackles thoughts where they happen - the subconscious - is what's needed to solve this problem for good. Get started on your path to fun and friendship today; just download the course below and you're on your way. Good luck!

I can actually say I'm looking forward to [the dinner party]

I can't remember how I found your site that day but I saw your download for stopping social phobia.

I thought I'll give that a go, then the checkout came, buy 3 get a 'discount' (sucked in straight away lol) I added two others along the same lines, loaded them to my mp3 player and had a listen. Listened to 1 and remember being amazed. I remember a few minutes of listening then I was being told to be aware of the room again, so much time had past which seemed like minutes. I remember I had a short break and then listened to the other two. I didn't tell my wife Liz at first as I wasn't sure if she'd laugh or it would really work. I listened to them every day for a fortnight cycling them (1 a day). Then one day we're in the chip shop (Liz used to always order) I strangely felt calmer! The lady asked what she could get us and I jumped in and confidently listed off what we wanted, Liz nearly passed out I swear, I was so proud of myself!

I 'top up' on those mp3's every now and then as every so often I get the nerves when I have to go somewhere new. When the nerves come now I don't let them take over like I did before as I know I can do it and nothing bad will happen.

I owe you so much for getting me out of my pit. We've got some of Liz's work friends coming around tonight for a meal for the first time because before Liz always understood I'd freak out on her, but I suggested it to test myself mainly.

That's the first time I've actually thought about them coming today. It would have been a 24/7 panic fest before, me thinking of everything that would go wrong and me hating it. No panic, no obsessing over it - I can actually say I'm looking forward to it!

David Hughes from Gloucestershire, UK. *