Fill those uncomfortable silences with... comfortable silence

What do you do with those uncomfortable silences which can bedevil human interactions? Those 'tumbleweed' moments, those 'angels passing', those thoroughly awkward vacuums in the conversation where everybody looks at the ground and hopes like crazy that someone else is going to step in? Or else suddenly starts blurting out anything that comes to mind just to get rid of the silence?

Never hearing the sounds of silence

For some inexplicable reason, we generally find silence difficult to handle. We feel more comfortable when there is a fairly constant stream of sound, and our culture has developed remarkable ways of ensuring that we practically never experience real silence for any length of time. Everybody is listening to radio, watching TV, or got a cellphone (or an mp3 player) to their ear. Even the mall plays constant music at you.

And this sense that sound should be continuous is carried over into conversation. Once we've started talking with others, we seem to feel the need to 'keep talking' without a break until the conversation is formally ended. Quite a few people even find 'ending the conversation' hard to do - because it invites silence.

How to get more comfortable with silence

But whatever the reason for our cultural preference for sound over silence, it is perfectly possible to get more comfortable with handling silences that occur naturally (or purposely) in interactions with other people. They don't have to be uncomfortable silences (unless you actually wish to make them so, which is a valid objective at times!)

The first thing to do is think about the role of silence in communication. What is it for? As soon as you ask yourself this question, you see that silence creates a space, an opening, where something can happen. The 'something' might be processing of what has been heard. Or reflection. Or just a rest. Or the opportunity for the conversation to go in a new direction. Or it might give emphasis to what comes next.

If you always immediately rush to fill those uncomfortable silences with more words, before any of these things can happen, the quality of communication declines. We actually need time to take in what is being said to us. We need space to think about our response to what we hear. Good communication will always include good silences. Allowing for silence, practicing it, will improve your communication.

Using hypnosis to feel at ease with talk and no talk

The second thing to do is deal with the uncomfortable feelings that have become associated with gaps in conversation - the feelings that make us label these times as uncomfortable silences. Such associations develop unconsciously, and the best way to modify them is through the unconscious.

Be comfortable with silence is an audio hypnosis session which takes you into a state of profound mental and physical relaxation and bypasses conscious analysis to let you experience how you can change your mind without even noticing it - that is, unconsciously.

In the theatre of your unconscious mind, you will de-couple the old associations of silence and discomfort, and rehearse what it will be like to feel just as comfortable with quiet as with flowing words. This will enable you to establish a new behavior blueprint which will automatically kick in when you are communicating with others, allowing you to feel at ease whether speaking or silent, and whether others are speaking or silent.

Download Be comfortable with silence and enjoy a new freedom and power in your communication.